Mar 162009

I can’t deny that I’ve been called emotionless on more than one occassion. You might say I’ve spent a lifetime teaching myself how to subdue some of the more painful and human emotional responses in favor of a nice even approach to the world. Hard to have a bad day when it’s hard to feel bad. This hasn’t exactly been helping me with my relationship however, and I really that bothers me.  I’m going to try something that was suggested to me; I’m going to writing. Writing is one of those ways I’m able tot tap into my more emotional side. Maybe if I’m able to exercise that part of me on a more regular basis it will grow big and healthy and strong.  So I’m going to blog from time to time under the category of ‘emoticons’, and these bits of word will be my attempts at tapping into some kind of emotional stimulation.

I think for my first attempt at riding this bicycle I’m going to try something very simple.  I’m going to try and get at a little annoyance. I’m going to talk about fruit flies. I assume they were initially carried up to my house by larger flies leaving the stank hole Chinese restaurant down below our apartment. They entered through our open, welcoming windows and found supplies galore. They found glider dishes full of half eaten treats. They found my oft messy kitchen full of unwashed, food encrusted dishes. They found bits of animal pooey, delicious! They also found something similar to the regeneration ship the cylons used in Battlestar Galactica. It was a rotting bag of potatoes that I did not realize existed, a bag that would allow the flies to spawn limitless numbers in a secret location. Fuckin’ flies man. Flies love to take part in an advantageous situation. So they bred and bred and bred. About a week later, you couldn’t approach the sink during daytime without being overwhelmed by a nasty black cloud of fruit flies. Gehghghgg! I got very very annoyed. I went out and bought fly strips. I went out and bought more fly strips. I forced myself to consume cheap orange soda from a 2 liter for the first time in years in order to use the soda container to create a fly trap I read about on the internet. I did the dishes obsessively. I forced the gliders to be cleaner. I bought 2 fly swatters and ran around the house like a madman swatting every fly I could get near. My walls are still covered in little red smears of blood where I crushed those flies. And yet they didn’t lessen.  SO ANNOYING. Gah. I was contemplating an electric fly zapper mechanism when I accidentally located their battlestation/ressurection ship. It was underneath the sink in a pool of black stank. And there were flies ALL OVER the goddamned thing. I killed them all. Now the fly problem is slowly dieing out and I am satisfied. But in the spirit of emotion, I’m paying homage to the manic obsession that overcame me and caused me to run around the house with 2 fly swatters batting at the walls like a madman. Though I was good at supressing it, in the heat of battle it was impossible to hide that feeling of futility in the face of such staggering numbers. Well fought you bastardly flies.

Originally published at KyleKyle’s Blog. You can comment here or there.