Mar 112010

One of my favorite Magic: The Gathering cards of all time is called Balance. It has an incredible effect on the board, it is aggessively costed, and the art is iconic: a knight holding a tipping scale. The cards intent is to “Balance” the game state by equalizing lands, creatures, and cards in hand. But as the designers of the game soon discovered, Balance is a very difficult state to achieve. The card was eventually banned from most formats in the game for being incredibly overpowered, and just like the iconic card, even today, Magic designers have a difficult time balancing out the power level of cards.

Shift perspective to my life, and I find myself suddenly sympathetic. I work from home now, and I live from home, and I do basically everything else from home. I’m at a very homey stage in my life. I also share my home with Jenny. We live together. For the first time in my life, my work is now mixed with my normal life. When I was a waiter, I’d clock out every night and walk away, leaving all the troubles of work in some other mystical land to be forgotten until the next time I had to go clock in. Now the lines are very very very blurred. When does work begin? Basically, when I wakeup at sit at my computer. When does work end? That previous time plus about eight hours. BUT, sometimes we add nine hours. Sometimes seven. My work day is a sort of amorphous power struggle between deadlines and hours in the day.  This blurring of barriers has me very confused. Sometimes, at night, I watch TV with Jenny and mere feet away is work. Problem solving, deadlines, clients, coworkers, and programming, stress and satisfaction… all mere feet away. Two meters even.

But there’s more. Work isn’t as boring as it used to be when I was a waiter. Work involves problem solving, work involves math, work involves computers. We all know how much I like my computers, and how much I like problem solving, and how much I like my math. So sometimes I let the gaze of work distract me more often then I should. Sometimes I answer an email, I read up on a javascript technique, or I attempt to debug an error long after work hours have officially past. NEVER in my latter days would I have taken a mans order in the middle of my time off. It wouldn’t happen. But tonight I was caught out. I sat there, watching a funny, engaging show with my funny, engaging girlfriend, and without really thinking about it I lifted my Blackberry and responded to an Email. Shame on me! I need to get a handle on myself before I lose control. I’d hate to awaken from a daze years from now and realize I was one of those guys who ignored the real world to get a little more work done. That isn’t me! I need to come to grips with the constant invasion of technology surrounding me before my home life suffers. I aim to do it too. Just you wait and watch. I will not be one of those guys….


 Posted by at 12:04 am

Two Tales Of Dark Intrigue

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Mar 092010

I bought my first suit. It took effort. Cryptic rituals just before dawn were required to remove the eldritch wards that stood guard over the monolithic barriers in my mind that prevented such an unspeakable act. But the act was performed, and though not yet spoken of,  now printed of. It all happened so suddenly. First, a coupon from Express,  called to my soul with significant savings. Then,  a sale at on man suits. Last, and worst  of all yet best of all, while compiling my tax information I discovered a Men’s Warehouse receipt from Ben’s wedding, detailing my exact suit measurements in a language so old and cryptic the very symbols themselves suggested unspeakable horrors to my racial memory.  A slim, pinstripe black number was located and the bargain was struck fora sum of $300.  Time will tell if the deal proved beneficial…

So I will relate another tale while we wait…

The plumber came today to fix our sinks which refused to drain. This led to the following moment which will forever hold a special place in my heart: Despite the use of hammer, wrench, and butane torch, the maniacally resistant junction cap defending the innards of our bedeviled pipes would not come free. Mr. Plumber immediately decided to get medieval and use an old jagged power saw. At first the pipe just whined… but slowly as it’s armor began to yield  a thick black ichor began to drip down its sides, thoroughly contrasting with its own pure white exterior. Slowly, as the laments of the pipe began to resemble  shrieks, so to did the drips of acrid substance begrudgingly become sprays of noxious fluid. The assaulted pipe drained out its very essence right there before me onto the drive way…. And without so much as a moment of reverence for the viciously abused cylinder, the plumber did then immediately rend the pipes insides with an implement so dark and hideous that Jack the Ripper himself would have cringed. At the behest of this wicked toy, metric tons of corrupt sludge came oozing out of that dark ravaged orifice. When the terror finally ended and the pipe cried out no longer, our sink burbled with a renewed sense of purpose. We could wash our dishes once again! But alas, hear I sit, late at night, in bed, still aghast at the horrors I saw committed far beneath our kitchen sink. My mind fills with terror at the mere suggestion of blockages, and the revenge surely sought by the pipe perform continue to haunt my mind…

And thus, the tales end for now. For now….

 Posted by at 12:08 am

Late Night Musings On The Desolate One.

 Daily Lief, Romance  Comments Off on Late Night Musings On The Desolate One.
Feb 132010

As Jenny and I were navigating the inner workings of a parking garage earlier today, I got to thinking. If my name was Lucifer, and I was in the business of collecting souls, here’s what I’d do. I’d buy up all the parking places in well placed busy downtown areas of big cities, and offer them up to the needy in exchange for a signature on the dotted line. I’m sure there are days when people get so desperate for parking that they would easily turn over their eternal salvation. Cha ching! Bargain!

Valentine’s Day approaches, and thanks to some early premeditation, I made reservations for Jenny and I at Le Petit Laurent, a fancy french restuarant. How exciting! We also went to the best cupcake in the world (I’d link it if I wasn’t feeling so lazy) and picked up an 18 pack of mini cupcakes in a heartshaped container. 2 of them are shaped like little bunnies!!! Tommorow, in a bid to clean up a little for Valentine’s day, I am going to get a bit of a haircut. I wonder what it is going to feel like to lose a bit of the weight.

 Posted by at 12:52 am

Happy Birthday Melanie!

 Daily Lief  Comments Off on Happy Birthday Melanie!
Feb 032010

The other day, February 1st, was my little sister Melanie’s 15th birthday. Jenny was nice enough to let herself be easily convinced on the subject, and we drove up to take part in the celebration. It’s always fun spending time with Jenny and my family simultaneously. Poor Jenny is not used to the large family dynamic. When you are one child with multiple parents, its easy to be heard. When you are one of five children you learn how to make yourself heard. Some would say my skills at being heard are without equal. Especially our upstairs neighbors, when I’m running round the house singing a naughty version of “Defying Gravity” from Wicked. Poor Jenny has trouble making herself heard at the kitchen table. Her family is so well mannered and respectful, they make our bunch look like a pack of hooligans. But the comparison is nice. It can be nice to be proper and groomed from time to time, but being loud, obnoxious and rude isn’t so bad either!

Jenny is good for me. Very good. She helps me be more generous, more grateful, more attentive, more caring, and better brother/friend. Take Melanie’s birthday present. Jenny made sure we had a really nice gift in hand to present to her, and the smile on Mellie’s face reflected that effort. I love my siblings alot, but its nice to have Jenny’s help being nicer to them! They deserve it! Valentine’s day is coming up, and I’m hoping to make it a special day. I made absolutely sure to make early reservations for a nice french restaurant, and now I’m ruminating over her nifty gifty. What should I get her?

 Posted by at 10:00 pm

Relevant Metaphors

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Jan 252010

When Jenny left for Utah, I aptly described the separation as rain clouds entering my heart, much like they were entering San Francisco. The longer I’ve employed this metaphor, the more strangely relevant it seems. While she was in Utah, it rained continuously it what had to have been the longest number of consecutive rainy days San Francisco has seen in a long time. On her return, the rain ceased. Then, immdiately after her departure to Minnesota, just as I began to feel lonely, the rain made its quiet maddening return as well. The metaphor works on an even more minute scale that days as well. Earlier today we were chatting on Skype. I decided to go out for some dinner. The moment I leave the house, a freak downpour ensues, completely drenching me. I was shocked and appalled at the timing. Jenny says the forces of nature are trying to tell me something, and I must say I agree. Technically speaking, I’m a trained scientist, and I see no other logical explanation. As I see it, when Jenny returns, it will be drought weather until her next business trip.

On a side note, I managed to make dinner reservations for Valentine’s day a full three weeks early. Fantastical. Now if only I could subdue my radical urge to argue over the validity of every thought, I might become some kind of decent boyfriend. Conceptually shocking!

 Posted by at 11:35 pm
Jan 202010

I played a Classic Daily in MTGO for the first time in a while. Went with Belcher, as it is still the only deck I have built. 1st Round against Ad-Nauseum Tendrils, he fizzles on his Tendrils game one and I blow my belcher up in his face. Game 2, he lays a land and I blow my belcher up in his face. The next two rounds crucified me. Round 2 he Oaths for Platinum Angel, I Burning Wish, he counters, no Shattering Spree, I lose. Game 2 I put down a Gargadon, but he stifles it and I go down in flames. Round 3 I face turn 1 chalice for 0 both rounds. No-Land Belcher = Dead Belcher. Ahhh well, I’ll try again some other time.

Link to the decklists, thought I’m in the bottom so my decklist doesn’t show.

 Posted by at 11:29 am

Time Alone

 Daily Lief, Romance, Travel, Work  Comments Off on Time Alone
Jan 192010

It is strange how a place can change when one of its primary denizens has nipped off to some distant place. In my case, her shadow seems to linger on the walls looming over me in silence. It doesn’t matter how fun I suspect my boy time will be, the lack of laughter and life in the apartment seems to drain all desire from my soul! I am certainly reminded of my reasons for moving here. Hopefully she remembers her reasons for asking me to stay forever, and returns to me soon.

To while away the hours, I do have work to focus on. Seeing myself referred to in emails as a “Senior Developer” on multiple projects gives me the willies.  However, it is nice to feel like some manner of adult. Especially when a year ago I was beating myself over the head for motivation to apply for graduate education. I’ve come full circle back to the programming career I thought I wanted, and I want it again! Amazingly, in a year’s time I’ve achieved a financial stability unknown to me for 25 years. I now have a structure I can build on for the future, a prospect I’m finding very exciting. As long as I knock my next few projects into oblivion I’ll be doing great.

I respect the frigid blustery rain that has been pelting our small city in such a sinister and purposeful manner. I told my fair lady I wish it not to leave until she returns, as its parting would then coincide with the parting of all the clouds in my heart. Delicious. However, during such inclement weather we must remember to beware all the evil creatures that go seeking empty homes to hide in! We wouldn’t want to have our soul consumed for lack of better preparedness!

 Posted by at 11:43 pm


 Hax, Tech  Comments Off on Rebirth
Jan 192010

At the behest of my lovely girlfriend, my writing has begun again. My wordpress blog self destructed somehow during the 8 month period where I ignored it. I will probably spend a good deal of my time rebuilding it. Sadly, I’ve returned to discover that the Gallery-Wordpress integration isn’t exactly possible these days. Promises of a bright future exist, but who knows how long that could actually take. I think I’ll spend most of my efforts on content and framework for now, and integrate gallery3 when it’s good and ready to be integrated.

When confronted by Jenny with the option of Blogger or WordPress, I found myself faltering. How easy would it be to build a blogspot bloggity blogger and never have it die. Ever. I’d never need to try and make it do the things I constantly try to make wordpress do. But I’m afraid I would miss something. I love crafting my website into the acceptable thought portal I see in my imagination. It feels me with pride to tackle such concepts as Archive pages and fast loading gallery’s with my own discerning eye for well written code. I think we found a compromise. I started a blogger bloggity blogspot, but I post to it via a crossposter linked into my WordPress blog. Success for technolgy. Hopefully we are both getting the things we need this way.

 Posted by at 11:15 pm
Mar 162009

I can’t deny that I’ve been called emotionless on more than one occassion. You might say I’ve spent a lifetime teaching myself how to subdue some of the more painful and human emotional responses in favor of a nice even approach to the world. Hard to have a bad day when it’s hard to feel bad. This hasn’t exactly been helping me with my relationship however, and I really that bothers me.  I’m going to try something that was suggested to me; I’m going to writing. Writing is one of those ways I’m able tot tap into my more emotional side. Maybe if I’m able to exercise that part of me on a more regular basis it will grow big and healthy and strong.  So I’m going to blog from time to time under the category of ‘emoticons’, and these bits of word will be my attempts at tapping into some kind of emotional stimulation.

I think for my first attempt at riding this bicycle I’m going to try something very simple.  I’m going to try and get at a little annoyance. I’m going to talk about fruit flies. I assume they were initially carried up to my house by larger flies leaving the stank hole Chinese restaurant down below our apartment. They entered through our open, welcoming windows and found supplies galore. They found glider dishes full of half eaten treats. They found my oft messy kitchen full of unwashed, food encrusted dishes. They found bits of animal pooey, delicious! They also found something similar to the regeneration ship the cylons used in Battlestar Galactica. It was a rotting bag of potatoes that I did not realize existed, a bag that would allow the flies to spawn limitless numbers in a secret location. Fuckin’ flies man. Flies love to take part in an advantageous situation. So they bred and bred and bred. About a week later, you couldn’t approach the sink during daytime without being overwhelmed by a nasty black cloud of fruit flies. Gehghghgg! I got very very annoyed. I went out and bought fly strips. I went out and bought more fly strips. I forced myself to consume cheap orange soda from a 2 liter for the first time in years in order to use the soda container to create a fly trap I read about on the internet. I did the dishes obsessively. I forced the gliders to be cleaner. I bought 2 fly swatters and ran around the house like a madman swatting every fly I could get near. My walls are still covered in little red smears of blood where I crushed those flies. And yet they didn’t lessen.  SO ANNOYING. Gah. I was contemplating an electric fly zapper mechanism when I accidentally located their battlestation/ressurection ship. It was underneath the sink in a pool of black stank. And there were flies ALL OVER the goddamned thing. I killed them all. Now the fly problem is slowly dieing out and I am satisfied. But in the spirit of emotion, I’m paying homage to the manic obsession that overcame me and caused me to run around the house with 2 fly swatters batting at the walls like a madman. Though I was good at supressing it, in the heat of battle it was impossible to hide that feeling of futility in the face of such staggering numbers. Well fought you bastardly flies.

Originally published at KyleKyle’s Blog. You can comment here or there.

Happy St. Valentine’s Day!

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Feb 162009

It’s actually February 16th at this point, way beyond St. Valentine’s day proper, but the sentiment still remains! I’ve continued to be incredibly silent on the blogging front for a rather long long time. This is partly due to laziness, and partly do to the fact that all news-worthy news centers around my new girlfriend, who refuses to be talked about in blogs. But I’m throwing off her yoke of censorship and tyranny for a short time to express my holiday feelings! I HAD AN AWESOME ST. VALENTINE’s DAY! I said it! There was a picnic with cucumber sandwhiches, spinach dip, and a bottle of juice that exploded all over me.  Later she took me to see the live version of Cinematic Titanic, a newer incarnation of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Phenomenal. We had the greatest time.  Jenny is basically the coolest girlfriend of all time, and she knows it too. I was just telling her earlier this evening that she’s returned all kinds of inspiration to me. I’m taking pictures again. I’m cooker more than ever. Soccer is more exciting to me than its been for a while. Work isn’t so bad when she texts me. I think I will stop there for now, but I hope there will be plenty more to write about in the future. And maybe some pictures too!

Originally published at KyleKyle’s Blog. You can comment here or there.

 Posted by at 1:08 am  Tagged with: