Mar 112010
 

One of my favorite Magic: The Gathering cards of all time is called Balance. It has an incredible effect on the board, it is aggessively costed, and the art is iconic: a knight holding a tipping scale. The cards intent is to “Balance” the game state by equalizing lands, creatures, and cards in hand. But as the designers of the game soon discovered, Balance is a very difficult state to achieve. The card was eventually banned from most formats in the game for being incredibly overpowered, and just like the iconic card, even today, Magic designers have a difficult time balancing out the power level of cards.

Shift perspective to my life, and I find myself suddenly sympathetic. I work from home now, and I live from home, and I do basically everything else from home. I’m at a very homey stage in my life. I also share my home with Jenny. We live together. For the first time in my life, my work is now mixed with my normal life. When I was a waiter, I’d clock out every night and walk away, leaving all the troubles of work in some other mystical land to be forgotten until the next time I had to go clock in. Now the lines are very very very blurred. When does work begin? Basically, when I wakeup at sit at my computer. When does work end? That previous time plus about eight hours. BUT, sometimes we add nine hours. Sometimes seven. My work day is a sort of amorphous power struggle between deadlines and hours in the day.  This blurring of barriers has me very confused. Sometimes, at night, I watch TV with Jenny and mere feet away is work. Problem solving, deadlines, clients, coworkers, and programming, stress and satisfaction… all mere feet away. Two meters even.

But there’s more. Work isn’t as boring as it used to be when I was a waiter. Work involves problem solving, work involves math, work involves computers. We all know how much I like my computers, and how much I like problem solving, and how much I like my math. So sometimes I let the gaze of work distract me more often then I should. Sometimes I answer an email, I read up on a javascript technique, or I attempt to debug an error long after work hours have officially past. NEVER in my latter days would I have taken a mans order in the middle of my time off. It wouldn’t happen. But tonight I was caught out. I sat there, watching a funny, engaging show with my funny, engaging girlfriend, and without really thinking about it I lifted my Blackberry and responded to an Email. Shame on me! I need to get a handle on myself before I lose control. I’d hate to awaken from a daze years from now and realize I was one of those guys who ignored the real world to get a little more work done. That isn’t me! I need to come to grips with the constant invasion of technology surrounding me before my home life suffers. I aim to do it too. Just you wait and watch. I will not be one of those guys….

Balance!

 Posted by at 12:04 am

Time Alone

 Daily Lief, Romance, Travel, Work  Comments Off on Time Alone
Jan 192010
 

It is strange how a place can change when one of its primary denizens has nipped off to some distant place. In my case, her shadow seems to linger on the walls looming over me in silence. It doesn’t matter how fun I suspect my boy time will be, the lack of laughter and life in the apartment seems to drain all desire from my soul! I am certainly reminded of my reasons for moving here. Hopefully she remembers her reasons for asking me to stay forever, and returns to me soon.

To while away the hours, I do have work to focus on. Seeing myself referred to in emails as a “Senior Developer” on multiple projects gives me the willies.  However, it is nice to feel like some manner of adult. Especially when a year ago I was beating myself over the head for motivation to apply for graduate education. I’ve come full circle back to the programming career I thought I wanted, and I want it again! Amazingly, in a year’s time I’ve achieved a financial stability unknown to me for 25 years. I now have a structure I can build on for the future, a prospect I’m finding very exciting. As long as I knock my next few projects into oblivion I’ll be doing great.

I respect the frigid blustery rain that has been pelting our small city in such a sinister and purposeful manner. I told my fair lady I wish it not to leave until she returns, as its parting would then coincide with the parting of all the clouds in my heart. Delicious. However, during such inclement weather we must remember to beware all the evil creatures that go seeking empty homes to hide in! We wouldn’t want to have our soul consumed for lack of better preparedness!

 Posted by at 11:43 pm