Hello Hello Hello!
It has beem quite a while since I’ve written anything, but my mother inspired me into action thanks to an earlier conversation we had. So here goes…
We left off and I was in Chiang Mai for trekking and elephants and that sort of thing. That was about two weeks ago or so. As far as trekking goes, I did that, and it was a little unspectacular. Basically, a ‘trek’ in Chiang Mai is a 3-7 day adventure in the surrounding countrysides consisting of several miniature adventurous episodes. I decided on a three day trek because I had nothing better to do until I went to the Elephant Conservation Center, and it seemed like fun. At first it seemed like quite a lot of fun. We climbed up a waterfall that had carved its way into stone and was very grippable when barefoot. I took some pretty pictures and got excited about the rest of the trip. Sadly, this was the highlight of the trip and it happened within the first 2 hours. Thereafter we did a lot of hiking in countryside completely devoid of wildlife. The hilltribes of the area, roughly equivalent to the native tribes of the USA, had hunted every huntable species to regional extinction. It is also worth noting that the definition of huntable species in Thailand extends far beyond the range of huntable species in America; the land was truly devoid of critters! Other activities of the trip included visiting hilltribe villages, riding elephants, and a river trip on a bamboo raft. Each of these endeavours was a new low in my trip.
The hilltribe visits are interesting to say the least. What is supposed to be a glimpse into a less technological society is instead a disinterested song and dance number providing a reasonable cover for the massive drug operations carried out by the tribal villages. As far as I can tell this isn’t a gross generalization either. To the delight of my trekmates, the opium was as readily available as the handicrafts. I could care less about the drugs, but I’m not a fan of the completely hollow cultural prostitution. The Elephant ride was more like the ‘watch your elephant get screamed at’ ride. I like being around Elephants, but I don’t like watching their abuse. Oh right, and the raft ride was just a 30 minute trip down a sewage pathway. Summary: Chaing Mai treks are good for people who want to experience th greatoutdoors in the form of prepackaged tourist garbage. On to better things!
The low point of my trip thus far was immediately followed by the high point. Go figure. The Thai Elephant Conservation Camp is the most amazing place ever. It is a sanctuary for all the elephants of Thailand, situated an hour from Chiang Mai. They have free veterinary facilities for any elephant, they do free veterinary checks ups every year on elephants in Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia, they have shows for tourists to learn about elephants and get close to them, and they offer courses that give one a glimpse into the life of an Elephant trainer, or Mahout. I went for the latter! I arrived at the center at 8:45 am in the morning, and by 9:00 am I was climbing onto the bareback of an elephant. They launch you right into it there. My elephants name was Wanalee, she was 10 years old, born at the center, and her Mahout’s nam was Tuim. He taught me all sorts of commands by which I could communicate to the elephant what I wanted to do. For example, by a slight tug on the ear and the words Song Soom (or something like that spelling), my elephant would bend her front leg, forming a sort of step that would allow me to climb on or off her unassisted. There were directional commands for right, left, forwards, back, commands to pick up objects, pull on things, commands to sit, stand, kneel, and bend foward (so that I might slide down off her head). When riding on Wanalee, I was instructed to sit with my butt on her neck and my knees up and sor of resting behind her ears. By the end of each day my thigh muscles were jello. Each of my three days at the center involved putting on a show for the tourists (and demonstrating my new elephant mahout prowess), bathing with the elephants several times, training and practicing commands, and taking the elephant to and from their resting place in the forest. Bathing was by far the highlight. Basically, Wanalee and all the other elephants crash straight into a lake with riders on their backs, and proceed to submerge and play. Tuim often conspired to get me soaking wet in several ways. The first way was telling Wanalee to stay submerged until my jellowy legs gave way (I would be crouching on her back above the surface) and I would fall into the water. The second was sneakier and took me a long time to figure out. There was a command that sounded like Bong Boom, and its utterance would cause Wanalee to inhale water into her trunk and fire at any target I pointed at. I would often do this and point at fellow trainees in the water, bu she would often fire the water at me instead. I thought I was doing it wrong, but later I noticed that every time I said Bong Boom, Tuim would tap my elephants rear in a characteristic pattern. He had trained her to shoot the rider when he tapped like this, and thus I kept getting drenched to his great amusement. After I discovered this however, I took matters into my own hands and aimed Wanalee’s trunk at him manually. This involves just reaching out and grabbing her trunk and pointing it at him. It was fantastic. The end result of my 3 days at the camp were extremely sore smiling muscles and a really deep respect for elephants. They are so smart and majestic and pretty, and strong! New paragraph!
Some examples of the extreme intelligence of elephants: When Wanalee was thirsty on the training grounds, she would walk up to the faucet, turn it on, drink, and when she was done drinking, she would turn off the faucet. All this was accomplished with her extremely dextrous trunk. Before bathtime, I would drop my shows on the ground at the edge of the lake. After bath time, she would return to my shoes and hand them to me. Anyone who had their sandals fall off while riding always found them promptly returned as well. Another highlight of the elphant camp was the baby elephant, named AI. He was 4 months old, and the first elephant in the world born of Artificial Insemination (hence his name). 4 month old elephants are the cutest things in the world, both in looks and manners. I could not stop adoring little AI. Little is a bit innaccurate though, he’s quite big and strong already. At 4 months old, a game of tug of war (trunk instead of rope) resulted in my being smashed into his fence (his strength is probably the reason for the fence). I took quite a few pictures, and there is a link to them at the end of this letter! I could go on and on and on about how amazing the Elephant center was…. I would fly to Thailand JUST to go there. I want to go back someday. I would say it is the best thing to do with one’s time in Thailand, and well worth the expense.
After the highs of the Elephant Conservation Center, I decided to returnto Chiang Mai and relax for a bit while I decided what to do. The food, and atmosphere of Chiang Mai is perfect for that sort of thing. I spent a fair bit of time with a 9 year old boy from Florida that I met at the Conservation Center. He was visiting his grandparents, who were more than happy to let me go bowling with him and goto the movies. Sadly, I embarassed myself a bit when a bad reaction to Doxycicline caused me to throwup in their planter box outside their apartment. Sorry! I guess it was fate however, because on seeing my reaction to the cheap Malaria medicine they aquired some Malarone for me, the expensive medicine unavailable in Thailand. They were really nice people. The malaria medicine relates to my newest plan, Burma. I’m at the border town of Mae Sae right now, and I plan on crossing into Burma tommorow. My interest lies in the northern city of Mongla, which lies on the Chinese border. It is basically a Chinese city, few Burmese live there, and it caters to the Chinese across the border with casinos and markets of illegal goods. Here is reputed to be one of the worst wildlife markets in the world. This is the sort of place where baby leopards and rhino horns and other rarities are sold to the detriment of the environment. Its the kind of place I need to see with my own eyes. Just thinking about it makes me sad, but I’m resolved to do it. Getting there will be a bit of a pain in the ass however. Foreigner travel to Mongla is regulated and requires paperwork in several locations. Should be interesting!
If you are interested, elephant pictures are to be found here:
http://www.kylekyle.com/pics/elephant
I think they are pretty self explanatory 
That’s all for now, I hope you are all well, and I promise to write when I return from Burma!